A Quiet House, Me, and My Thoughts

I sit at home alone on a Friday afternoon thinking. Thinking about things I should be doing. Thinking about things I want to do. Thinking about who I am, what I've done, and what I will do. Thinking about people in my life now and people that have been in my life who are no longer. You know those people who seem to have it all together and are so sure of who they are and what they want in life. Well, I am not one of those people. I've been thinking a lot lately, and for me that's never good. I've been accused of thinking too much and I know that is true. But as I sit here, I want to actually get those thoughts out and just maybe I will stop thinking.....maybe.

What does the future hold for someone like me? What will I accomplish? Who will I help? Who will help me? Will I ever stop living life paycheck to paycheck? Will I reach those goals I have set for myself? Will I ever do those things with my family I have always wanted to do? Will I ever be again the person I used to be? What happened to that person? Where did she go?

As you can see, sitting at home alone on a Friday afternoon is very dangerous for me. Do you ever have afternoons like this? This is me. This is what goes through my head periodically throughout the day, the week, my life. This might be me asking for help. This might just be me being me. I'm not really sure. Why do we face things like this in life? I'm very blessed and I know that. I honestly have not gone through anything traumatic in my life. But still, how does one put on a smile when they don't feel like smiling? How does one laugh when they don't feel like laughing?

These are just some thoughts I've been having and don't know what I really want to accomplish by posting them out there for you to see. Maybe someday I will get a little break from thinking.

SMILE! Baby's First Pictures:)

So by now I'm sure the news is out we are having a girl, but as I promised we would post the ultrasound pictures. Paul and I have been wanting to do this together, but with our crazy schedules, we don't get much time at home together. The time we do get we just want to be lazy and just be together. So here goes. On March 11 at 3:30 in the afternoon Paul, my full bladder, and I headed to the doctors for the most exciting appointment we would have throughout the pregnancy. It was torture while we watched nurse after nurse walk into the waiting room and call back other patients (for more reasons than the full bladder). So Finally our turn came and I all but ran to the room.
I got up on the bed and after I was all prepped for the ultrasound, up on the screen came these pictures:
The nurse obviously enjoyed her job, and the fact that she had the power to continue the torture because she waited til the very end to reveal what Paul and I were so anxious to find out. But finally she put up this picture and asked what our guess was:



I had never paid much attention to ultrasounds I've seen before, so I had no clue. Finally she typed in 'GIRL' and I was so excited! I looked over to Paul and he had the biggest smile I have ever seen across his face. He knew from the very beginning it would be a girl. Looks like she is already wrapped around his little finger:)
After all the business was taken care of, the nurse showed us these incredible 3D pictures:

Already I can see she looks a lot like her dad:)

Funny story about this one. As I looked up at her, I noticed how she was laying and I realized I was laying the exact same. Right hand up under my head and my right leg crossed over my left. Awwww....so precious!

Last but not least...This one is by far my favorite! Notice right behind her ear. What does that look like? ....see it yet? I am convinced it is a thumb and 'someone' is up there watching out for her before she gets to us:)

So there ya have it...finally. I am so excited to bring this little girl into the world and pray that I'm up to the challenge. As the news has gotten out I've had some fun responses such as "now you're going to have to learn how to do hair!" and "what will you do if she is a little 'princess'?" But whatever she brings to our family and whatever I have to learn, I am up for it and thank my Heavenly Father for this amazing responsibility He is trusting Paul and I with and I pray I won't let Him down.

I just want to say one more thing. We have some friends and family members who are struggling at this time with their desire to add to and bring more members to their own families. I just want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope that you know I look up to your great faith and your strength. I hope you also know that as I am so excited and look forward to this baby we will be bringing into our family, know that I feel a bit guilty and saddened for what you are going through. I have found that being pregnant, I have begun to think about things differently, and I am able to feel deeper. I hope this came out the way I intended it to. I am surrounded by amazing men and women who I can't explain why they go through the things they do, but know that I love you and count myself so very blessed for knowing you:)

New Post Coming....

So we found out on Thursday what we are having, but with our crazy schedules, we haven't had a chance to tell you about it. So soon we will be putting a post up about our experience with some pictures....so keep checkin in:)

What Will Be Your Guess?

Tomorrow afternoon, Paul and I will be going in to find out if we are having a boy or girl. Tomorrow night we will be posting the news here on our blog. But first I thought it would be interesting to see what your guesses are. So guess away:)

A Dog's "Tail"

So we've gone through a mixture of emotions this week concerning pets. Here is a little background. In the fall of 2008 we found this amazing dog we call Duke at an animal shelter in Pleasant Grove.

Duke is mostly a Red Healer breed. When we first saw him, Paul immediately grew attached. I think it's because of the red hair:). At the time we were renting from Paul's Uncle Aaron living in their basement in Provo. He and Amy gracefully consented to our plea to bring him home. We are still grateful to them.

In July of 2009 however, we decided to make the move to Cedar City for Paul to attend SUU. Despite our efforts to find a place that allowed dogs, we were unable to find one. So we painfully decided to leave him in Fillmore for my Uncle Gary to adopt until we found a place. Well as you know we were able to buy a condo here in Cedar in January so we made the arrangements to bring Duke down. Here is where the mixed emotions come in...

As we packed up Duke and all his belongings, Uncle Gary sat back reminiscing about the good times with Duke and expressed how much he would be missed. Here is a man who very seldom shows emotion, or gets sentimental. We got everything in the truck and we set off down the road. As we drove, we discussed the attachment we saw had formed between Uncle Gary and Duke. After about a mile, and some debate, we decided Duke would be good for Uncle Gary, and that Uncle Gary would be good for Duke. So we turned around and returned Duke back to his true home in the old fields of Fillmore. Paul misses him greatly!!!

Duke had shown us that our family cannot be complete without a four footed member. Well, now there are eight little paws in our family. Duke was such a great dog, it took two to replace him. Everyone meet...




Curly and....





Lucy



We are so excited to add them to our growing family and look forward to the adventures we will all have together.

If you're ever in Cedar, please stop by to say hello to the Kennington Funny Farm;)

Time To Get Cookin!

Ok I guess I have procrastinated enough. Time to get to my list. First off I'd like to be a better cook (or at least learn how to make something besides mac and cheese). So I am going to learn five new recipes and add them to my box. I am leaving it up to you what those five are. Leave a comment with a recipe that is popular in your home and I will try them and choose the five favorites for our family.

Here are the requirements: 1-must be easy! (my cooking skills are to the extent of boiling water) 2- can't have onions, celary, mushrooms, tomatoes, squash, brocolli, dog, cat(just checkin;)), most fish, coconut, or peppers. Have I mentioned I am the pickiest eater on the planet? That explains the mac and cheese right?

So anyway, submit what you think would be a good addition to our collection of easy dinners and I will let you know what I choose. If I had any money, or anything cool, I would put a prize on the winning recipe, but the best I can do is offer service. Paul and I like to trade payments for service where we can. If you need any spring cleaning, yard work, babysitters, or anything at all let us know and we will oblige for your yummy dinner!:) So... LET'S GET COOKIN!!

My "Night" In Shining Armor

So here I sit at 3:20 AM just finishing off a bowl of Ramen Noodles that my amazing chef of a husband whipped up for me in under 4 minutes. Why am I eating Ramen Noodles at 3:20 in the morning? Well it started at about 2:00 when I flew out of bed (grabing a hair tie off my nightstand as I ran) dashing for the bathroom toilet (not to be confused with the kitchen toilet, or even the closet toilet). Luckily I made it in time, but not in time to get my hair tied back. So as I held my hair, I sent what little food was in my stomach into that porcelin pit I have grown so used to in the last three months. Paul sat near by rubbing my back as I tried in my shaky voice to convince him to go back to bed and get rested for his 8:00 class. But of course, Superman doesn't rest when a damsel is in distress-especially HIS damsel. So he proceeded to get a package of Ramen out of the pantry, fill a pot with water, and fix me up a small meal to re-nourish me and our growing baby. So as I slowly ate, he sat near (finding all the spanish channels on our new subscription of cable) and staying by my side.
I am so grateful for him and the amazing husband he is and the great dad he will soon be. I try not to let myself realize that I don't deserve him, but will always know I married way above myself. I love you babe!